Before I embarked on my life-changing adventure I hate to admit that I had become a ‘no-can-do-er’. The kind of person that would undersell themselves (not always to others on the outside, but on the inside, in my own head too). ‘No you can’t do that’, ‘you’ll never be as good at your job as her’, ‘you’ll never reach that level’, ‘you wont make it’. I lost a lot of my spirit, my confidence, my oomph, the things that made me, well me. Its funny what that first taste of grown up life can do to a persons spirit, if their energy is misplaced. It’s only on very recent self-reflection I even realised I was doing this, but I remembered a time way before this that I backed myself beyond belief, not through arrogance but pure, let’s say innocence and naivity. When was this beautiful time? My childhood years.
I don’t know if we all acted the same in our childhoods, but my ambitions as a child used to be phenomal, extraordinary, sometimes ludicrous and unobtainable maybe, but that never stopped me from shouting them from the rooftops. It’s funny how powerful a child’s brain can be, when you really think about it. No limitations, no understanding of why things can’t happen, no restraints from society yet to tell us to do things a certain way. Just thoughts, missions, dreams, adventures, schemes and plans. When I was 13 years old I wanted to be two things (try not to laugh), a top supermodel (I know) and an author, the next JK Rowling. In my adolescent years I told myself these goals were unreliable, unpredictable and not the safest career routes, so generally I talked myself out of them (I’m now talking about the pursuit of my author dream the top model fleeting idea was just me loving wearing mums heels & lipstick & taking pictures), but really, i never should’ve stopped thinking the same way the blissfully ignorant childhood me did.
What changed? I did. Maybe my confidence did, maybe my knowledge of the real world, the practicality of achieving such goals. What I told myself in my adolescent years would be an unreliable and foolish career choice, I now relish the opportunity to pursue, for that very reason, because why not? Why should we ever stop thinking with a child’s naivety and passion and excitement in pursuing the things we actually want to do with our lives? And if we fail, we fail, we get up, get straight back on our bike and start chasing the next dream, but we have to get on the bike to start with.
Why shouldn’t I be the person who writes the next best seller? Who is to say I’m not as good as any other author out there? So what have I decided to do recently? Be more like the childhood me. I liked her better than the person I became when I decided to try the ‘growing up’ thing, the ‘grown up’ way, and now I’m a much better person and a person I like a lot more as a result of it.
I’ve realised that in broadening my horizons recently and going back to my childish ways of thinking, I’ve started to talk about myself differently. Childishly you might say, naively you might say, I say, wishfully and inspirationally commanding. The law of attraction (or The Secret, for those who have read the book).
I only recently noticed this change in my ‘external voice’ when telling some guys I met in Chile last week whilst I was sat at a bar about my life plan & the book I’m currently writing.
Not only did I notice how far I’ve come in my own understanding of my life, but also in the way I talk about it. There’s a myth that if you say anything with confidence and conviction people will believe you (even if you don’t have a bloody clue what you’re talking about). Well, if you say something with confidence and you have every bit of passion and excitement backing it up to show how you are going to make it a success, people have no choice but to believe you. How could they possibly say with absolute fact you aren’t going to make it? They can’t (because they don’t know), and if they do (cynicisst) you probably shouldn’t be surrounding yourself with those kind of people anyway (I’ve stopped doing it).
The sad truth is People often call themselves realists when they look to crush the possibility of others’ out-landish dreams, I think I used to call myself a realist, but trust me, it says a lot more about the realists than it does the dream-chasers. Quite often if someone is projecting negativity onto someone else’s dreams, it’s because they were too scared to chase their own, what other reason would they have to inflict negativity other than resentment? Exactly. (Never be a dream-crusher, we all see right through you).
Truth is, if I really want to make something work for my life, and I give it my very best shot, i would much rather be positive and foolishly passionate chasing a dream I’m crazy about, than never try because it may be difficult and not work out. And let’s say you don’t pull it off? Well at least you didn’t pull it off, at the thing you want most in the world. Sure, it’s easier to not pull it off at your every day normal jobs, but where is the fun in that when you can bust your balls at that terrifyingly scary thing you want more than anything.
So, as the new year begins, and I’m testing my commitment to this book by setting writing time every day, alongside a workout and my new raw food diet (don’t ask) to try and get me back into a discipline routine, it’s all working hand in hand to tell myself I can do anything I set my mind to (The mind is a very powerful thing, our whole existence in fact).
The message boils down to this; if you honestly want to chase a dream, go and shout it from the rooftops, tell everyone, and tell them how great you’re going to be, really visualise it, make it a reality in your head, it’s the only way to make it a reality on the outside too. Go back to the childhood you, life is too short to think the naive and passionate version of yourself was wrong, go back, think freely and chase every naive and wishful dream you please (it’s always better than not trying) 💜<<<<<<<